Being asked to be part of someone’s wedding is an honor. It means they think enough of your relationship to be part of their inner circle on their wedding day. However, your job is not just to show up. There is some effort expected and involved in your role.
Once preparations are underway, members of the bridal party can feel overwhelmed with the expectations put on them with regards to time or finances. It is very doubtful the couple intended this when they asked you to be a part of their big day.
Know Their Needs
Every couple has different needs and expectations of their wedding party. If you are unclear, don’t hesitate to ask. Approach this as a friendly conversation, showing interest and curiosity about the plans leading up to the wedding. You might only be expected to show up, or you might be expected to help plan and implement a whole event. It’s best to be clear from the outset, and be honest about any of your limitations. Just be sure to show enthusiasm for their big day, and an interest to be helpful overall.
Do everything you can to maintain a positive attitude throughout wedding preparations, pre-wedding events, and the wedding day itself. Nobody likes a crabby bridesmaid! Your job is to support the couple through this monumental time in their lives. Even if you don’t agree with all their decisions or choices, your job is to make the couple feel good about their wedding plans. There will likely be some mistakes along the way, and you will be a resource to help deal with them, not say “I told you so.”
Be a Team Player
There are likely several people involved in the bridal party. Some you may know, some you may or may not like. Keep in mind that you are all there for the united reason of ensuring the wedding festivities go well. As much as some of the personalities may make you cringe, keep your opinions to yourself. Don’t lay your complaints on the bride or groom – remember, you’re keeping it positive!
It’s Not About You
No matter how unworthy you think a groomsman may be, or ugly your dress is, always remember that it’s all about the bride and groom. When the couple asks you to do something, do you best to grin and bear it, and be cooperative.
Be a Trusted Sounding Board
There is no shortage of aggravation and drama surrounding weddings. In-laws that are meddling, arguments about spending, too many opinions in the mix, all can set a couple off in a meltdown. As a close friend, your job is to be a good listener and sounding board. Let the bride or groom vent, and try to offer up some bright-side humor or distraction when possible.
Offer to Pitch In
Even if you haven’t been asked, check in to see how you can be helpful. If you are handy, you can help with decorations or putting together favors. Good writers can help with place cards. There are so many moving parts to weddings, even if you can pick up people at the airport, run errands, or have family children play with your kids for the afternoon to free up the parents, that can all be invaluable assistance. Plan to free up some time throughout the wedding planning process, the week before, and definitely the few days leading up to the wedding to be a resource and an extra pair of hands.
Keep the Couple Calm and Nourished on the Wedding Day
When the wedding day has arrived, the wedding party should consider themselves on call to help with any last-minute tasks, assist with guest’s needs, and basically act as a part of the “hostessing” team. You should also consider it your job to make sure the couple take time to eat and hydrate during what is always a whirlwind day. Help with getting into dresses, tying bowties and fixing boutonnieres. Do everything you can to help make sure the day goes smoothly, that there is less pressure put on the bride and groom, and that they get to the alter with enough sustenance to really enjoy their wedding. Bottom line – make sure the couple who thinks so highly of you has FUN!
Featured Image Credit: Samantha Kensell – Samantha Kensell Photography: samanthakensellphotography.com